Night of the Living Undead
by mscatmoon
Summary: A Halloween party at Josef's doesn't go quite as expected... Mick experiences the fright of his undead life. Are ghosts real, or is he seeing things? And what mysteries will the night reveal?


**AN**: Obligatory Halloween tale. I've had this idea in my head all month, but just never got around to writing it. Now, in the 11th hour, I couldn't resist… See end of story for other notes and references that are omitted here to avoid spoilers. Oh, and um, this does take place in my HB universe, but definitely can be read on its own.

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**Night of the Living Undead**

By Cat Moon

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Contrary to popular belief, vampires _do_ like to party on Halloween. Josef Konstantin/Kostan's bashes were in fact, legendary in both vampire and human circles – much like the man himself. The best of food and blood flowed for his mixed company, the music coming from the top-of-the-line sound system featuring the traditional music and a liberal helping of Alice Cooper, courtesy of one particular attendee. Images of Alice's macabre stage show complete with beheadings, dead babies, and demons flashed on the screen on the wall. If you were in the "know" you could quickly tell the vamp from the human guests – the latter inevitably were the ones more often dressed for horror, while the former seemed to prefer period history costumes and generally avoid the more gruesome attire.

This year would turn out to be one of the more memorable events… but not necessarily in a good way…?

Josef and Shane stood together by the door, with Josef greeting the guests as they arrived. The duo was decked out in suits and Fedoras, ala: "Guys and Dolls," with Shane as a sexy Sky Masterson (and did he ever tell you about the time he actually used that name as his alias?) and Josef a dashing Sinatra figure. A tribute to their days together as rum running gangsters during prohibition. They'd wanted Sara to join them in the theme, but she refused, instead opting to dress as a sixties flower child.

Mick and Beth arrived early. They'd come as Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara, only with a twist in the theme as Beth's dress was ala' Carol Burnett's curtain rod gown.

"That gown is gorgeous!" Josef quipped upon seeing her.

"Thank you. I saw it in the window and I just couldn't resist," she quipped back.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," Mick Butler'd back. "I just can't wait to get her _out_ of it," he leered, earning himself a smack in the arm as his wife dragged him over to the buffet table.

"She is _so_ going to win the costume contest this year," Shane predicted as they walked away.

Aldo and Margo were the next to arrive, decked out in matching flashy 1980's disco attire. "Welcome to Hell," Josef intoned. "Make yourself right at home." He was a little perturbed; he enjoyed guessing the identities of the incognito guests, but except for Josh (who'd come as a troll) everyone so far had opted for non-disguise clothing. Of course he had an unfair advantage, since he could tell everyone by scent, but he enjoyed being perfect anyway. Let Shane keep his "wisdom," Josef had his _rules_. One of them was, "There's no such thing as an unfair advantage."

Shane's head swiveled around as the pair moved into the crowd, watching the revealing tops and tight spandex pants retreat. "Disco sucked, but you _do_ have to appreciate the exhibitionism of the era…"

"Oh god, everybody's doing the 'cutesy couples-theme' thing this year, aren't they?" Sara remarked with her nose turned up at the boring idea, giving the boys' outfits a long once over before wandering over to the bar for a drink. Everybody's drinks inevitably included red food coloring or juice so it was virtually impossible to tell the vamps from the humans by what they were drinking without taking a sip.

"Did she just diss us?" Josef asked.

"My sweet, innocent Sara? You must be mistaken."

"Perhaps we should have re-thought our costumes…"

"She's probably just annoyed because I keep calling her 'Sister Sara'. She doesn't get the Guys and Dolls reference. I'll have to play the movie for her."

"The Broadway version was better," Josef scoffed.

"Four words. Marlon Brando, Jean Simmons. You just prefer the play because we were there for opening night." Josef, Shane, and two freshies had gone to the opening of the play at the 46th Street Theater in 1950. It was an event to be remembered… but perhaps not in the same way as _this_ night would be…

Reverend Autun even attended, dressed as the devil, which was greeted with amusement by all. His brother Daniel chose escapee-prisoner attire, and was "chained" to Sharon by a pair of shackles. Ryder England showed up as Alice Cooper, and Josef suspected Shane had put him up to it, but he laughed himself stupid over the bizarre sight anyway. Poker buddy Tim was getting down as Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch (the T.V. show _not_ the movie), and Dan came as a caveman. "That is _so_ condescending," Mick quipped when he saw Dan.

The rest of the guests were also appropriately attired, and even with all the couples themes there was a good mix of types. The party was quickly in full swing, all the guest enjoying themselves.

Mick and Beth had partaken of the refreshments, and were in a conversation with her parents, when something caught Mick's eye. He would have blanched if he hadn't already been a vampire. Beth noticed his expression, and looked at him inquiringly.

"Spooky," he shook off the coincidence.

"What?"

"That guy over there," he inclined his head toward a far corner. "He kinda looks like Donovan Shepherd."

"Wow, he does. Obviously someone posing as him. He _was_ a pretty famous cult leader, here in L.A. at least. I think there's a Manson over there somewhere, too…"

"Charles or Marilyn?" Aldo asked.

Beth giggled. "I think the one you're referring to is actually Alice Cooper."

"Ah, of course,"Aldo replied, his face saying anything but that. Beth pointed to the video screen where Alice was currently being beheaded. "Oh! I get it now," he added sheepishly.

"Yeah, that's got to be it," Mick agreed to Beth's explanation. "Just didn't expect to see _that_ face."

"Chill out, it's a party," Beth chided. "Do I have to protect you from the scary creatures?" she teased.

"I can always hide under your curt—uh dress," he whispered in her ear.

"Hmm… that's got possibilities for later," she whispered back, feeling a little tingle at the possibilities…

Mick growled softly in response to the slight change in her body chemistry, and she knew it was going to turn out to be a very memorable Halloween.

However, that particular prophesy turned out to come true in a very different way from the one she imagined (oh, okay you nookie pervs, the "hiding under dress" thing came true too).

XXX

The Shepherd clone had vanished into the shadows. Mick prowled the party as if on hunt, his eyes scanning the crowd. Beth was engrossed in a lengthy discussion with Sharon, and quite frankly, he didn't care to be privy to what the two, human, vampire's girlfriends talked about amongst themselves. He shivered in fear at the very thought, much more frightening than seeing a ghost.

Can dead vampires come back as ghosts?

Mick went off in search of the good reverend, intent on asking him the question. Something about the scene on the patio caught his attention, he'd never be able to say _what_ afterward, but standing there -- nonchalantly talking to a stranger whose identity he couldn't guess but looking strangely like some kind of Roseanne Barr/Arnold/Whatever She Devil, in a red suit, horns and glowing red eyes -- was the spitting image of Dr. Jeff Pollack. Even using vamp speed however, by the time he got there, they were both gone.

"If this is supposed to be a practical joke, it isn't funny," Mick growled to himself, stalking through the mansion like a man on a mission. Once he could pass off as coincidence, two was another matter entirely. He'd _seen_ them both die with his own eyes…

Not paying attention to where he was going, Mick nearly ran into someone. When he looked up his eyes widened in shock. Lola Whittaker stood before him, looking perfectly undead and even smelling of her signature perfume.

"It can't be you!"

"Mick, darling, it's _so_ good to see you again," she purred. "You didn't honestly think you could kill me that easily, did you? You, a mere babe and me an old, powerful vampire." She trailed a finger down his cheek seductively.

More disturbing than the scent of her perfume, was the smell of vampire. He was up close and personal now, and this vision before him screamed Lola in every way.

Mick bolted. Spotting Josef and Shane in the crowd he flew over, grabbing his friend by the lapels. "We have a problem." Shooting Shane a look, he pulled Josef away.

"Mick, you're wrinkling the threads," Josef complained, straightening his jacket.

"I just saw Lola!"

"What? That's impossible. _Who_ have you been drinking?"

"This isn't funny, Josef," he snarled. "I spoke to her. It _was_ her." He was starting to become a frantic now. "And I saw Shepherd and Pollock, too."

"What the hell is wrong with you man, those vamps are all dead! You killed them. Of course, your track record in killing vampires isn't all that good…"

Almost as if speaking of her had conjured her up, Mick saw a glimpse – just a glimpse – of a Dom in black leather that bore a striking resemblance to his three times dead ex-wife.

Mick grabbed Josef roughly by the neck of his shirt. "I'm not in the mood to listen to your sarcasm right now. Something weird is going on here, and if you don't believe me you'd better! I've got to get to Beth, she may be in danger. _You_, do me a favor and see if you can spot the others." With that final order, Mick vanished into the crowd.

Josef strolled back to where Shane was standing. "He really fell for it." The slow grin spread over his face.

"Yep," Shane agreed. They high-fived each other. "That was a stroke of genius on your part, and a miracle to find all those perfect look-alikes from the screen actors' guild."

"That was no easy feat!" Josef agreed. "The Shepherd clone isn't even an actor. Don't _ask_ me how I found him. And She Devil helped me find Pollack."

"I guess it _does_ help to know people in high places. So, he saw the Coraline too, huh?"

"That's when he ran off to protect Beth," Josef chuckled meanly.

"Hey – when I kill 'em, they _stay_ dead," Shane pronounced.

"Yeah, you're a regular can of Raid," his brother snarked. "Of course, _this_ beauty is my favorite…" he added as the actress posing as Lola sauntered up to him. He put his arm around her. "I'd like to have a private word with you later, doll," he murmured. "I'll rate your… performance…"

Janice aka Lola laughed. "Oh, and maybe I'll rate yours as well."

"God, she's uncanny!" Josef remarked, his eyes vamping out slightly as he pondered the possibilities for later…

"Uh… Josef…" Shane was tugging on his sleeve, and more than slightly urgently.

"What did I tell you cretins about the threads," Josef groused, trying to extricate his sleeve from the tight grasp.

"Josef!" The seriousness in his tone finally got his brother's attention. "Did you hire _two_ Lola's?!"

"Two Lolas? I was lucky to find _one_. What are you—" and his attention was diverted to the blond bombshell who'd just walked in the door. His head whipped around from the Lola on his arm to the one by the door, and back again. He scented the air…

"It can't be…"

"We both know Lola. If your vamp senses are telling you what MINE are…"

"No!" Josef insisted. "It's impossible…"

"It _was_ Mick who "killed" her," Shane began. "Did either of you actually see the…evidence?"

"Oh my god."

"I guess I have my answer," Shane muttered disgustedly.

Josef could do nothing but stare as Lola walked towards them. When she reached them, she stood in front of him, and they stared silently at each other for a long moment.

"Just how mad _are_ you at me for sending Mick to kill you?" Josef asked with his most charming, but slightly nervous smile.

"I don't know how mad she is at you," Mick said, suddenly popping out from the shadows. "But _I_ was pretty pissed at you for staging this Halloween practical joke with Shane!" He grinned ear to ear at his friend's nonplussed reaction. "That is, until I was presented with a way to turn the tables…"

"Janine, meet Josef Kostan, our host," Shane introduced the 2nd Lola with a shit-eating gin. "One word," he told Josef gleefully. "Twins."

Mick and Shane high-fived each other, jubilant at having "gotten" Josef.

"Well then," Josef huffed, straightening his jacket again. "That just means _I'm_ going to have twice the fun later." He slipped his free arm through the new Lola's and calculated his gain/loss ratio, deciding he'd still come out on the better end of the deal. And it _was_ a good burn, he thought generously.

"I don't think so," Shane disagreed, as the Lolas disengaged themselves from Josef's embrace with matching smiles. "These two beauties charge by the hour, and they cost more than hookers!"

Josef watched them take their leave with dismay… but that quickly turned to a hidden grin of triumph when one of the ladies discreetly pressed a phone number into his hand. No, Mick wasn't the only one who was going to have a memorable Halloween…

XXX

The party was on its way to winding down, the guests thinning by the minute. A few of them stood in a group by the table. Beth was nibbling on a few left over chicken wings, Sara having one last "drink for the road". Shane had his ever-present Jack Daniels in his hand, and Mick was sipping at a blood cocktail.

"Had a good time tonight, huh?" Shane smirked at Sara knowingly. She wasn't big on alcohol, but just the fact that she was always being prevented from having any had spurred her this night to take advantage of opportunity and have a cocktail or two.

"Josef doesn't mind corrupting others," she retorted snidely.

"And speak of the devil," Shane commented as the vamp in question walked up to them.

"Hey, have any of you seen Roseanne around here? She wanted to talk to me about a new project she's looking for funding for."

"That really _was_ Roseanne??" Mick asked in awe, glancing around the room.

"I think she left with the Shepherd clone," Shane responded.

"So what's next?" Sara asked with the energy of the young. Good thing most of the others had the energy of vamps, and to them the night _was_ young yet.

"Well…" Josef considered. His date with the two blonds was for 3:AM, so he still had a few hours to kill. He glanced at his watch. "We just have time to make the midnight showing of Rocky Horror."

"Cool!" Sara said approvingly.

"Hey, Shane said as they began walking out the door. "Did I ever tell you about the wickedly authentic _Frankie_ impersonation Jay-Jay does?"

"Oh no!" Mick cried to a cracking up Beth. "If I ever saw that I think I'd go blind!"

"No, seriously—" Shane was unable to finish the words, as he bolted when he saw Josef come after him in a vamp blur.

"I _am_ going to kill you now!" the others heard Josef growl as the pair vanished into the night.

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THE END

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**Notes**: Wow. Ye tale abounds with modern U.S. cultural references. For anyone who needs it:

Guys and Dolls. Broadway play and movie starring Brando, Simmons, and Sinatra. About gamblers in NYC and the Salvation Army sister (Sara, Simmons) who tries to convert them and ends up falling in love with Sky Masterson.

Alice Cooper. Rock singer who became popular in the early 70's and puts on a macabre stage show.

Is there anyone who _doesn't_ get the "Gone With the Wind" reference? The skit with the curtain rod gown was performed on the Carol Burnett show and is not-to-be-missed hysterical.

Huggy Bear is from the 70's TV show Starsky & Hutch (no, _not_ the movie ;-))

Caveman references Mick's line to Josef in a previous HB story, and the insurance ads on T.V awhile back (no, I never saw the short-lived TV series).

The Roseanne stuff is an obscure spoiler hint… anyone who was a big fan of her series, it was a Halloween tradition for her gang to play practical jokes on each other. My favorite was the one where she thought she was getting her sister, but it turned out the joke was on _her_… She Devil was a rather bad movie she did.

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Cult sci-fi spoof movie hit. If you haven't seen it – go. Now. 'Cause I refuse to try and explain it… ;-)

Raid – Kills bugs dead! (from a famous bug spray commercial)

Currently dead undead Moonlight characters are of course from the episodes – so if you don't recognize them go at once and watch the whole series!

And yes, for those sticklers for details I even have an "explanation" for how Josef was able to be so fooled at close range. See, Shane happened to get a hold of something that belonged to Lola, and the actresses had that on them, which gave them Lola's "scent…"

And the spookiest of all the events of the evening at Josef's… the episode 12:04 didn't even _happen_ in my HB universe, as it begins after The Ringer. So how could Mick have recognized a dead Shepherd?? I guess it's just another Halloween mystery…


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